What is it at work that makes you gossip about other people? It would be a lot better if we all have this ground rule on not to talk about other people if you are not going to say something nice. This will automatically shut a lot of backstabbing and gossips. When I go home after a days work, I reflect on things that have been said and things that I should have said in defense of the other party. I realized that I’m in this circle of co workers to help my self, and how is that? By choosing not be a participant of this malicious gossip. It takes a lot of discipline to do this. First I have to be aware that this is not good for me and toxic to my soul.
When I hear something negative right away I have to be aware that this is a red flag for me to say nothing and change the topic or even just say “I have no comment”. I can also tell the other person that may be we should change ourselves and start being nice to others by not talking about them when they are not here. I find that most complaints are about them. They are not happy about themselves and so they find something to talk about just because they are empty and unfulfilled. I believe when someone has a conflict it has to be resolve right away and not to wait for this to be bottled up inside of you and then it explodes.
When I have a misunderstanding with a co worker I usually approach and resolve the conflict. I like taking it to heart level and not ego or power trip on who’s right or wrong. This way I build trust and openness toward the person. In my experiences I find that there is a lot of mistakes along the way because of not being able to face the situation. When you hide anger or resentment it becomes an easy escape to gossip about this particular person. But when you open your heart and express your feelings the conflict usually resolves. For me one should be able to allow this open communication and see that everyone is entitle to this voice.
The most common problem that occurs is about insecurity of some one’s being, which I find in almost cases. For some reason people feel that what they do is who they are and becomes very defensive and sensitive when someone steps on what they do. There is a sense of territorial rights and one becomes protective about this false identity. I’m the total opposite, my intention at work is to bring harmony and teamwork. I believe when someone is aware of their being there is a sense of peace and does not attract this kind of situations. One should remember that when conflicts arise, that they are the magnet and it will help when they take the time to reflect. There is a space where they can go and learn the lesson that this situation is calling for.
Our work place would be a better place if everyone would take the responsibility to choose peace and understanding with one another. Why would you like to come to a place where there is chaos and feelings of not wanted? When you can turn it around and build a place of love.