I’m writing this because I learned the hard way and hoping that my experience will somehow makes a difference in some one’s point of view is my intention from writing this. I now declared to the world and my family, friends and strangers that are in my life that I will simplify my life. Meaning what truly matters to me will be my priorities and that my self will always be the FIRST one on my long list of people to love and share my precious time with in this lifetime.

As a RESCUER I learn the hard way that I have to stop rescuing others in a sense that I will lose my self. In helping them I need to know the boundaries and that just like a Lifesaver he rescues the drowning and then he let go….this is the part that I failed. I attach myself to the rescue and then I get drained in the process. Rescuing is an energy but I don’t need to identify my self as this RESCUER, it is just an energy that I have a contract with in my sacred contracts. If you are not familiar with SACRED CONTRACTS by Dr. Myss I will try to explain it in a nutshell. According to her studies she believe that before we came here on earth, we have sacred contracts with these different types of neutral energies..they all have light and dark sides. The wisdom in knowing these types of energy that you have in your system and that you actually have a CHOICE to choose on what side would you like this certain energy to play the role in your life. For example just like what I was mentioning the RESCUER is a neutral energy but I can turn this energy into the dark side of it if I’m not aware of it’s implications in my actions.

What I learned from this experience is that my life is too short to play this role, I would rather enjoy my time with my children, lover, family, friends rather than trying to save the world. I can not do this anymore, I have to save my self. Because of my “SELFLESSNESS” I had no identification with what I need or what my invinsible self needs. I lost my balance in catering to others, life is about juggling all these in my life and I totally forgot the most important part of this illusion is the JUGGLER. Meaning the balls are the roles that I juggle and I am the JUGGLER of my life. Knowing that I need to exist before this act can be perform or balance, now my life will be more peaceful. This was the missing link in my act, “I” was missing in the whole picture of my life. Because of my spirituality I forgot that I’m still here on earth. I’m not sure if you the reader will comprehend this type of jargons because this is quite deep in my perspective but may be it’s just simple for you because you don’t make life to be complicated and your SELF is not at all missing.

What makes this illusion? I realized that the secret is finding my self back. When did I lost my self? I guess it started when I got my self succumbed in this painful body. The past experiences of my life was about suffering and I died inside. My spirit became the anchor of my existence. I made my spirit to be the focus of my realities because I found “PEACE” knowing that all of these external realities are just illusions. It’s like my Psyche thought “why bother about this material world when I know for sure that in the end all of these will perish.” There is actually wisdom in knowing this perception but it can also become a disconnection to my existence. I’m still here and so be it. This is what matters. My spirituality needed to be grounded. Like a tree we can only reach up as high as our roots reach down.

So what matters is LOVE, the times that I’m here will be spent with LOVE. Whatever I do, think or say it is about LOVE because truly this is what matters in the here and now and in the end…..LOVE IS ETERNAL!

Namaste!

Teza