One of my unforgettable memories with one of my patients and experiences with the dying is the one with this particular person. I used to work as a night nurse and there is this patient with a case of late stage of Cancer and Venous Aneurism along the side of his neck. When you see him at this stage he had this huge ball like a small grapefruit size around his neck area. When I enter his room he has this special light within him that makes me feel home and safe. I feel his unconditional love and he used to greet me ” Oh my angel is here!”
I remember vividly that I took care of him for 19 days, it started on Jan of 2001, I used to come to his room before midnight to see that he’s safe and every hour clockwise. Around 0500 I sat beside him and turn his television on and I usually put the Catholic mass and just simply hold his hands. On one of this occasions, he told me that he used to be a Catholic and we used to joked with each other and I told him, “how come in your chart there is no mention of your Religion?” Then he replied that he used to practice this religion and he became alcoholic and he never went back. But now that he’s sick he wants to see a priest. I used to practiced Catholicism and when I heard this after my shift work I went straight to my priest and mention this to him and gladly brought him to work that morning.
After this revelation we became more closer and I understood where his pain is coming from. As a child who experienced living with a father who was Alcoholic I felt the guilt and pain that he was suffering from. I was able to put myself and see where he was coming from and heal the part of me that was in pain regarding the feelings of being abandoned by a father. The things that fascinates me with these experiences is that when I play the role of a helper, nurse or healer literally I receive the gifts of healing at the same time the healing happens to the patient. Truly I say that when I give, I receive in the process. There is no difference in this actual gift, I become the receiver when I give.
On Jan 19, 2009 I knew that he was going to passed away @ the hour of his death @ 0300 I was with him. I told him not to be afraid and just follow the light and his loved ones are waiting for him. He opened his eyes and smiled at me, I felt his love. Usually when the person is about to die I have this knowing that this is the time, there is something in me that knows, I can’t put a finger to it but the signs are all there. When I look at their eyes there is a sense of dying, there is no more spark of light and their body emits this certain scent of death like rotting, of course as a nurse the biological signs are there but to be in tune with the right moment of death for me is a gift. Usually I’m there when it happens and the room is full of their presence and you feel this awesome love and indescribable feeling of spirit. My life transforms every time I am given the gift of being with another person’s passing away. I usually go home with a reflection of my own journey and transform my realities in living in the moments of my life with joy and love, they are my angels!
When I look back from this experience he brought to me the realization that we are here to learn the lessons that our souls have contracts with. His coming to my life was a part of my healing process. During that time I was healing from my Divorce, my relationships with my father and mother, developing the courage to let go of any toxic relationships, and many others that comes with letting go of the emotional blockage that impedes my work as a healer.
The people that are on our paths are the gifts in our journeys, and you will be surprise to know that those who literally push your buttons are actually the ones that will bring your healing. Your trouble makers are your gifts, because there is no difference between us when you become unified in spirit, what you see is a part or fragment of your self. So when your perceptions operate in this method of looking at life then your enemies become your friends because suddenly you begin to see them in the eyes on an angel where there is only light and no more shadows. We become the bearers of light and love, this is the message that I’m trying to teach to others. Pure compassionate wisdom, this is the only way that we can help our own ascension.
In these Angelic times our thoughts travel and within seconds of thinking you will find the person you are thinking about come in your presence and beget the message that you are about to receive when you are open and ready to become light and activated within your DNA system. I hear this theory all the time with the New Age teachers and this is simply reminding us that we are all angel beings when we choose to be. There is a process to this activation and it starts when you let go of the attachments and soon you will find that your self had transcend in a different light. Your eyes become open to signs and messages to your divine living. You carry the light and people will see that you are living light and every where you go you bring this sweet aroma of an angel being.
As I write this message of love and hope to those who are called to read this, I’m just excited to tell you that the white snow just started to fall right by my widow pane and it’s just so awesome to feel this and be blessed with their presence in this blessed times of our lives here on earth.
Let us remind ourselves that we are light, we will go through a process and your angels are always there for you and will guide and give the right interventions that you need right at the moment. You will never be alone and will always live this ETERNAL LIFE. There is no more pain, release and live the life of an angel, who sees unity, harmony, unconditional love, light, peace, joy to your heart and open your eyes to their subtle messages, the laughter and presence of children, the special quiet moments that passed between conversations, they are here. Listen with your ears and hearts open to receive. Love and love until it hurts. Then there is no more hurt but only love! BELOVED!