We are in this matter and form of energy in our body consciousness within the cellular level of our cellular tissues, fibers, memories and consciousness. Our manifestations and existence is here within the energetic substance of our blueprint in the subconscious level of our mind consciousness and deep layers of unknown territories. Our perceptions of the world within our selves define the summation of our experiences and projections in our everyday lives. When we are awake to this consciousness we become align to all that is and it brings us to the present moment of what our spiritual lessons are at this very moment.

When we think inside the box, we are contracting this Universal energy within our own perceptions of the world and we lose touch to our expansive selves. It is what it is, in order to expand we need to contract just like anything else in this world. The only way to expand our mind consciousness is to experience what does contraction means. This is when we become like puppets of our own thought patterns and unconscious negative beliefs about our own existence. Our society, beliefs, religious doctrines, media, banking and politics, economy all of these are our man made perceptions of what the world should be and influences us in our ways of thinking in big ways. To get inner peace we have to dig deeper in our subconscious level and see how we operate in our patterns of thinking.

Thinking outside the box, we need to have a quiet mind and totally be in that space of peace. In order to achieve this, first we need to know about our disorderly lives, chaotic and corrupt mind. We can not shift if we didn’t recognize that our mind is always chaotic because of the voices that continually comes and goes within our mind consciousness. Like a ghost that haunts you in the middle of the night, you have no other choice but be at peace within your own self to find solace in this predicament. We are souls within this confinement or box in our head. The ego speaks so loud we can barely hear our truth and crushes our spirit. Meditation is a tool to finally see the works of our thoughts and release them that they are just thoughts and not to be identify with what they are talking about. They are usually there because of our previous experiences, we somehow  needed these voices to protect us from harm.  Now that you are empowered in the soul level, these voices had served their purpose and it’s time to let go of their false power. The only power that holds truth is love and not fear.

Our mind needs to be in this state of peace in order to bring order in our lives. The silent mind can bring about this shift and complete order. How would our mind can be free of fear? Total change and order does not exist within the field of mind consciousness because our mind is corrupt and we need to shift in different level of dimension. When one lives in disorder,  how can one sees itself? This is when meditation helps us to see the movement of thoughts and the mind must be in absolute quiet space to bring about order. Thoughts create fear and when we are responsible for our own thoughts we become free. This freedom has responsibility and implies order, our mind then demands freedom and discipline. To learn not to conform what others or society wants you to be.  We have the freedom from being confined and contracted but be align to our expansive selves.

When our mind consciousness expands outside the constrictions of our box, we tapped into the vast Universal account of our Source. We become limitless in infinite possibilities of  our highest potentials, expansive and living in multi dimensional Universes of our existence. We become soul empowered beings operating within our hearts, burning in fire and passion for this light to shine. We tapped into our subconscious fields of our mind and co create with our Divine souls life full of love and light. Cleared of dramas and conflicts within our own selves and others. This is the fields of the Akashic Records, we become clear of our Karmas and our level of vibrations is accelerated to it highest frequency. We elevate into our higher consciousness, grounded to bring this light for others to know that there is this space of love and light. This remembrance of our souls is the expansive energy that operates within our own souls when we are open and become an observant of our present moment.

Ask questions that will invoke changes in your fields of energy like asking what is the pattern that needs to be release and am I ready to release this negative thought patterns? This would open awareness of your unconscious negative thought patterns, remembering that you are the magnet of the situation and no one to blame for. The other person is just a projection of your unconscious thoughts. Ask yourself if you are ready to face your fear and have the courage to feel the deepest truth underlying the core issue of the cyclical patterns of your life. Learn to stop and listen what your inner thoughts are and realized that whatever you see in others is what you have inside yourself. Everything is a reflection of your self. The answer lies deep within and this would bring light to your shadows and be one with others in their own shadows. Then, we can self realized that we are all one in this field of consciousness. That they are you and you are they. Seek the silence and look within, then comes the change in your heart increasing compassion for your own self and others. Understanding humanity where they are and not attending to fear and separation but putting attention to love, commitment and intention to be in harmonious relationship with your self and others. When you are empowered to believe in the unknown, the force and power of the Universe is with you in all aspects of life. Our emotional awareness and responsible choices towards authentic power will bring us to this space of what is. Going with the flow of abundance and harmonious living, consciously aware of our powerful existence we become in tune to the Universal Laws. Our contraction serves in knowing our expansive selves in the Universal fields of life to be who we are suppose to be serving others and loving our existence in this multidimensional living.

We live in this paradoxical world and dualism, when I thought I knew more that’s when the Universe gives me situations that challenges the truth in me. I found out that I know less when I’m letting go of the ego and truly looking inside of me what is it that bothers and clearly points it out to me that the thing that I see in another person is truly what I have inside of me,  only I was too busy looking at others mistakes and form. What I found out is that when I back off and put my self in the space of no judgement but just is. I realized that my perceptions are  about myself not about the other person. The things that irritates me are actually the things that I can’t let go or things that I’m trying to control and manipulate or it can also be the things that scares and challenges me.

This space can only be reached when one recognized that there is disharmonious, in congruent and chaotic emotions and thoughts that are happening in your body, mind and spirit. Awareness is a big part of this space, once recognized then the space of awareness magnifies and becomes more present. Allowing this observer and awareness to lead the observant or actor which is you as you have the control to lead this drama into play. The other person is the  participant of the drama and suppose to be your catalyst to self realized that there is a space of awareness that you can be when there is a drama. As an observer you have to listen to all the communications that are being said and listen to body gestures. When you listen open your heart to oneness and don’t feel that you are separated from the other person’s point of view just let it be and completely surrender to this space of no judgement.

As you listen you will find more space to allow the other person to open his heart more to you and be able to talk from the heart. Allowing this space of unconditional love gives expansion to the other person that he feels he is not being judged but being validated. Validation is a big part of the game of the ego. When someone is in the pain body, they are coming from fear and want others to validate their existence even using negative attention because that is the only way they know to get validation from others that they belong. Belonging and trusting others to love you for your existence is not easy to fulfill because of all the layers of masks and denial that we play. Detach from the drama and knowing that you are the space of awareness to help transcend the situation given to you. You empower yourself and choose inner peace instead of separation. By detachment we remember that everyone has their own world or dream so whatever drama is being played it is not yours but for you to listen and help the other person to see the light or the lesson of the drama. This gives inner peace for both of you and the relationship that is being given to transcend. Breaking down the walls around your hearts and completely releasing that is not of light and putting this light into the shadows of your illusions and ego.

Finding the center of your heart and focusing on what will raise the vibration of this relationship helps you and others to find peace. The raising of the consciousness of humanity needs other peaceful warriors to lead in the darkness. As we evolve in our human consciousness we are asked to be more responsible for our own thoughts, words and actions. We can’t let chaos disturb our inner peace. By being heart centered, focus on our souls purpose guided by our spiritual guides we become more strong and courageous in our existence. We become the leaders of this dark age and help others see the light within themselves. Opening our hearts to whoever is in our present moment be it a poor beggar, a politician, businessman, nurse or whatever roles they are portraying its just is a role that we are not to be identified. Because our truth is not about these roles that we play it’s about our spirit and heart. Without this compassion for others there would be no love only war and separation. Opening our hearts to understand more what is happening to the other person gives us more space to allow and become more at peace with our own existence.

Loving kindness have to start within our own selves as we can not give this to others if we don’t have it. Opening your heart and mind that the other person is not separated from  you but just is  a projection of your perception and consciousness.  When you see others like you and that there is no separation that means you are looking at others with a wholesome consciousness where there is no boundary but oneness in the Universal flow of energy. This compassionate wisdom then will lead you to becoming one with the whole humanity. We are one in the spirit and our souls are all in oneness with God whoever God is for you. Our higher consciousness is here aligning our selves to what is and becoming one in all aspects of our existence is the beauty of it all. When we connect to our Source, our highest potential is beyond our comprehension. We become a vessel of unconditional love and a space for others to feel love.

In our human evolution we are being face with all these situations of war, separation and chaos. As we dwell with our own little world of relationships with others, it becomes apparent to us that we are like mirrors of these global wars. We have chaos back and forth from our own selves  family, friends, co workers and many other relationships that we build. We have not come into this space of unconditional love and oneness. We are taking baby steps toward this enlightenment, but this light can only be filled within our own hearts and soul connection with others. As long as we keep putting our walls around our hearts we would not be able to see beyond the dramas that we are creating. We have to be aware of all our perceptions regarding others and our own selves. When one is looking from within and heart centered, one knows that we are all one is spirit and soul. The more we know from the heart the more we know we belong to each other.

Blessings!

Sexual addictions and many other addictions are not easy to heal unless the person has come into self realizations that he or she is powerless about this sickness. Only with the power of grace and Divine intervention, that the person’s choice and willpower to shift and transform from all of these illusions and destructive patterns, will there ever be resolution and true healing to take place. It is very deep within the soul level of healing because we have touched the spirit level damage of our core being. It is not like other addictions like food, alcohol or drugs, this sexual addictions is beyond the level of understanding because it comprised of unified consciousness and souls of other beings that had been in sexual contact with the other souls so to speak.

Imagine how many souls you have intercourse with when you touch one soul that had touched all the souls that this human being had touched as well. Because soul is one unified consciousness and we are many souls within the soul of God. We are all sentient beings in one unified union of souls or consciousness. This theory or analogy had touched the core of my soul and wisdom, going through all the phases of sexual addictions and cravings that one has to go through when one is addicted to sex.

In my personal experiences as a sexual victim of incest and rapes, I had gone through hellish moments of tortures within my own devil. The devil was within me, as this sexual pleasures seeks and craves for my soul, mind, body and heart’s longings. It is like a very strong urge to keep attracting another person to be involve with and every new person gives you that high and climactic exultation of self.

Sexual healing takes a lot of time and peeling off layers of mental tortures and emotional toxins that you had imprinted in your blueprint, crystalline structures and holographic matrices. As one becomes awake, conscious of the dynamics of healing beyond the body, mental, emotional and spiritual aspects of being. One knows that our whole existence has to become an awareness that witnessed such miraculous transformations. This multi dimensional energy healing goes beyond the conventional Western Medicine. It is a holistic approach to what a person needs to have a healthy, wholesome fulfilling outlook on their own soul’s purpose. To become align to the magnificent force and power of healing beyond our level of understanding.

The layers of variety of negative low vibratory emotions are the compass for the gateway of true healing. Our broken wounded hearts are enveloped in this toxicity of emotional debris that accumulated through the years and it even goes beyond all past incarnated lives and ancestral lineage. The energetic component of our blood line DNA passed along through generations stays imprinted in our DNA/RNA and exist in our emotional intelligence. When one is asleep, one is powerless to this deep layers of wounds that need to be address and heal before one finds inner peace and healing.

The web of lies and deceptions when one is sexually abused, there is this underlying lie to oneself that he or she is seeking intimacy but when in a relationship, one runs away from fear of intimacy and commitment because of the “pain body” they become afraid of this soul union. This addiction is like an entity or being that resides within the body, it occupies your existence to find lots of excuses to run away from true intimacy.

It can be voices in the head that tells you that you are not good enough for the other person and all they want is your body and sex. They are not interested in your soul but you are a piece of meat. It is not easy to see that this voice is just is a voice of rejection of your protector false self. Because of the emotional and mental pain that a sexual victim or survivor goes through this voice becomes identified as real and true but the truth is this,  is just a voice of rejection that you yourself created to guard your heart and soul because of the damage that was done to you when you were abused.

There are trigger points that when stimulated like smell of pheromones, presence of excitement and the unknown territory of wondering how good can this person be in bed with me? How would this sexual encounter with this new person feels like? These are deep feelings of urgency that one sexual addict feels activated to the core of his existence. The unconscious person becomes weak and in times of temptation gets the body aroused with addictive force of sexual innuendos. Thus, a victim continually succumb itself to this dark and unending cycles of false unification of two bodies without the integration of their hearts, mind and soul. It becomes a web of cycle of addictive events seeking behavior, that goes into a cyclical motion of events, that creates another door or portal of entry into another unification of spirit, lost in the darkness of the deceitful acts of the enemy.

The darkness is expanded in its rugged edge to install deep layers of more lies about the sacredness and sanctity of uniting spirits, body and souls. Our human consciousness regarding sexuality has definitely reached the lowest and darkest point of hell so to speak. It is quite embedded in our human consciousness that everything around us is manipulated and controlled by the enemy. The media that is power controlled to give us this subliminal messages that sex is good and all these enticements and advertisements about selling body and sex.

We are far deep from saving grace, we need to wake up before all our children suffer this great darkness of the enemy. One has difficulty and challenge to be in light perspective of their own sexuality and spirituality because of all the judgements, fear and illusions that we have created in the midst of our society within the context of the so called Judicial and government that’s suppose to guard and protect us. We are in deep darkness and embedded in this link of illusions, power control of the Elites, government and politics,  advertising and media and many other institutions that shove us into deeper hell that we are already in.

We have to wake up in our own illusions and fears, take courage to face our demons or fear that enough damage is done. We are peaceful warriors of true Christ light. The shadow is here and is a part of our paradoxical world.We have been deceived by our enemy which is the devils advocate and that is also within our mind consciousness because they are the negative energy that inhabits the Earth and all creatures of God. We are more powerful than these challenges, Jesus has overcome this world and we would do more greater things than him as the Bible says.

We need to protect ourselves from all these attacks and be a peaceful warrior of God. The Devil is just is, an archetype energy that is against our true light and the consciousness of God. There is nothing to fear about this entity, I have faced my own evil and look at him in the eye without fear. With Michael the Archangel as my guard and protector there is nothing to fear about. We are here to shine our light and not to hide this gifts to help others transcend in this shift of consciousness. Without our light others will be stuck in the dark and they will feel the agony of their own hell.

Our addictions is like hell, they keep torturing our souls and prevent us from becoming wholesome, trustworthy, feeling safe and secure in relationships, loving to ourselves and others. I created this prayer or intention to heal and cut the cords of all these souls that have attached to my being and existence to release my soul from all the Karmic bondages of all force of darkness and become empowered by the true light and love of God.

” I release all the Karmic bondages from all of these souls that I had unified within my body, mind, heart, spirit and soul in a sexual union without the sanctity and sacredness of my Holy Spirit. Name the persons concern. In these sexual unions that violated my soul I cut the cords of the spirit of attachments, obsession and possession, restlessness, uncontrolled longing, desires, craving, urge,  power of manipulation and control, sexual sins  to be release and be cut free from all these souls and for them to be guided towards the Christ light of God and Source so they can complete its path in the highest good of all. Amen and be it done.”

This message was given to me when I opened my business in October 2009. The case is about a mother who passed away at the age of 47 and never finished her book,  titled “I Am Out of  My Divine Mind, Where in the Ego Am I?”  it is a deep question and the way I see it interpreted in my deep recollections is that we are all out of our Divine mind when we are too busy thinking about what to do next on the list. As if our lives is but a collection of check marks of things to do and things to buy. Wow! how did we ever get to this minute  perception of what life should be. We become thinking and doing machines not realizing that we have these precious moments and doors of  opportunities to share the gifts we have as light beings of God. We are in denial of our own true light Divine existence. Why did we do this to our humanity’s integrity and respect for our selves and others? We become greedy of everything that we see, we want everything that is in  material form and in the world has for us.  We have forgotten that the special things are the things that we feel in our hearts not the things that are seen or for show off.

We have to wake up, with the way our economy, government functions and beliefs can influence our being, cyclical  natural events and catastrophes  of this lifetime are giving us signs for our evolution of consciousness. We need to know our souls perspective in order to function in our highest potential. We have to stay away from our thinking mind and recognized that the creative part of the brain will be the one who can give the right answer for your question. It is not easy to balance our right brain and left brain but the Pineal gland will integrate our electro magnetic fields to bring balance and anchor us to our existence. Just like the Earth have Shumann’s Resonance we as are human beings are the same organic being, we have this field of energy body in our system that should be more recognized in healing than healing only the physical symptoms of the diseases. We need to integrate our organic body with nature and stay away from all the toxicity that we develop and chemicals that we think will help in our healing. Healing first of all is beyond the body, it is the healing of the soul and our energy body that will make a big difference in our evolution of consciousness. But first we need to wake up from  all the destruction that we have created ourselves. It is time to turn the table around. We should look within our body and find that space of unconditional love for all sentient beings. Look within the soul and what feelings we have and totally connect to the stillness of the mind.

The ego is such a false voice in our being that we are so blind and deaf to what is the truth of our existence. We believe whatever we see and the unseen doesn’t make sense to us because we carry limited beliefs from our perception. We forgot to use and connect to our insights, gut feelings, instincts and energy body. We judge the book by its cover without reading the content and see for yourself. We are blind to our true self which is our spirit. When we start to wake up and smell the coffee we can accelerate our growth by this awareness. It will bring us freedom of spirit, liberation from all attachments and egoic concerns, fear, and other blockages that we human beings go through. The little things are more important than all these material things that we create and lose the essence of the heart of humanity.

The Divine mind is the Universal connection we have to each other, our human consciousness link to the eternal mind. Our ego is in our being to hold us grounded in this Earth, so we become balance in our spiritual walk of life. Our body, mind, heart and soul is all connected and these has to be align to the higher vibrations of our cellular consciousness to hold the vibrations of light and love. When we self recognized that we are beyond this physical body, we become aware and this is the first step of our enlightenment process. There are a lot of layers to peel off but the healing process can be a lot easier when there is surrendering of ones self to God or Higher Power because without this our existence becomes shallow to the surface and will just continue the Karmic cycle that we create in  our cellular DNA consciousness.

We are magnificent beings that truly resonate with God’s high vibratory frequency of light and love. The declaration to the Universe about our goddess qualities will enhance our existence and receive situations that will lead to that path of least resistance. I have created this declaration or intention with my son Theo and I’m sharing this to help others in their manifestation. “I declare to the Universe that I am empowered, successful in all aspects of life, manifesting abundance, true wealth, good health, happiness, unconditional love, inner peace, and expansion connecting to the force and power of the Universal energy flowing in my existence and being.” With this intention doesn’t mean that all good things will come to you sometimes things that happen will wake you up in your situations where there is light needed to help you transcend this lifetime. It is a blessing in disguise so to speak, but if you choose darkness then this Karma or action will just repeat itself and until you learn the lesson for your highest good and potential that this negative energy will dissipate.

We can not keep running away from our true calling and our heart’s desires they are the true compass in our existence. When we have accidents in life that wake us up to the core, we have to stop doing things that continually ruin our souls. We need inner reflections and truly listening to what the Universe is telling us. Our God or whoever or whatever God is for you will always be there to listen to our prayers or thoughts and intentions. We are all connected to this Divine matrix of energetic fields of light and love. There is no running away anymore, face your fear, accept your mistakes and be responsible for the consequences of your actions. The choice to have a better life is always at your hands. Enough pain and sufferings, be at peace with your own creations and self. Realizing this door of opportunity is here to give you another shot in life where there is love, there is no fear.

I’m writing my autobiography when I was a child as a mystic, to help guide other mystics who are still in that field of the unknown and not sure of how to make something about their existence so here I am and dedicating this story of my mystic life to all the living mystics outside of the monasteries.

As I remember vividly when I was 2 yr. old having been diagnosed with Diphtheria and was clinically dead, my mother would tell me this story that she was in the telephone calling our big family of 10 children whom I’m the baby to bring in the money for I died. Then, suddenly the nurses ran and was screaming at her that I’m not dead that I’m back to life. This message always astonishes my little heart as I vividly see my mother holding my tiny body, and the hospital with special attraction to the French white door in the hallway and saw my 2 brothers running in the hallway. This is my first out of body experience and there was complete darkness, which is one of the great puzzle for me as I asked God “why was I in the dark?” and finally this question had been answered and I heard God telling me because you were in the womb of creation. I was given the vision of Genesis and in this paradise of heaven I was growing and playing with the angels, which I described in one of the chapters of the angels.

My childhood was fun filled memories, I loved nature and I grew up in the beautiful and exotic land of the Philippines for 17 yrs. My days were filled of nature, plants, animals and children playing in the streets. I wake up early in the morning to take my pillow at this huge Calachuchi or Plumeria  flower tree right in our back yard. I would lie down in the midst of the curve of the tree and admire these awesome white petals with bordered Yellow  and exotic scent of Plumeria. I talked to the tree, flowers and butterflies and love every minute that I spent there. My mom would screamed in terror after waking up and finding me missing in my bed. You can hear her yelling from inside the house “Tesang come down from the tree!” This is the normal routine of our mornings, laughing at myself now I can not imagine the pain that I caused my poor mother. I also run to the Pacific ocean every sneaky ways I can which of course got me into trouble as my mother would tell me not to go near the beach because of my safety, but of course I would not follow her command. I grew up with a mother who was strict, disciplinarian and religious faithful Catholic. I was brought up to go to church every Sunday and say the rosary to mother Mary everyday.

My sister who is like a nun brought me up, Carmen who is like a living saint in the Philippines. She guided and teach me the ways of a religious holy woman. I was always fascinated with churches and how people come together to honor God and Jesus in the cross. We were brought up in this tradition of Saints and feasts, there would be lots of stage plays in the streets of Paranaque where I grew up and spent my childhood, specially in Lenten season and my brother Michael would portrayed Jesus in the cross and I would follow him in his way to Calvary so to speak. I was also involve as an actress playing the part of mother Mary in stage plays. I wanted to be an actress but my mother would not allow this to happen as she believed that an actress life is filled with drama and shame which actually happen to my life.

As a gifted child I would always know and talk to my angels, dream of them and talked about them to my friends. Would also show them that they have power and that they are always with us. I like playing as a minister who gave the body of Christ and pretend that I’m a priestess. I was very active, cooking with plants, taking a bath outside our house with bull frogs while talking to them, takes care and gather ducks eggs and would give them to my mother. There was a special memory regarding the ducks eggs. My mother was turning 50 and I had a brilliant idea to give her 50 duck eggs, so I hid them and presented these eggs on her birthday and everybody was laughing because my mom was all the while wondering to whatever happen to the ducks. Why they stop laying eggs it’s because I was hiding them for her.

Very creative and resourceful that I am at the age of nine, this age is very significant to me as this is time that I have seen 2 ghosts right before my eyes. At first it was my grandmother, the mother of my Papa Manuel, I often ask him why I don’t have grandparents while I was growing up and because all of them died at young middle age. One night I woke up in the middle of the night and saw an old lady with long hair sitting beside my father’s bed and caressing his hair and she smiled at me. I told my Papa about this and he confirms to me that it was my grandmother, that was a lovely feeling that I got from my father to trust what I saw.

Then, the other one was my cousin who had died of a heart attack in the country side of the country where my aunts lived. There was this eerie feelings around me while I was asleep and wants me to wake up. I tried not to open my eyes but felt very fearful so I open my eyes and saw my cousin standing by the door of the guest room where he used to stay when he visited us. I felt my body numbed and ran away towards the stairwell and my mother was sure enough walking up in the stairs with a candle lit in her hand as it was a black out at that time. In the Philippines we have these evenings where there is no electricity to conserve energy and that was one evening that we had no light, I ran to her and she told me that the vision was not real that I was just dreaming. But I know deep within me that it wasn’t a dream that I had an experience of seeing a ghost.

I was a good student and became the president of the class every year of my grade school. I was determined to be a leader of the group and always have this confidence right from the get go. Also became an editor of the newspaper and create a lot of projects as a little girl that would make a difference in the community. Became the Valedictorian of the graduating class in my elementary school but as I reached the school of hard knocks when I was 15 yr old, my life as an academic student became upside down. I was involve in the drama and sufferings of life. I was facing pregnancy, sexual abuse from my father, abuse from my brother, abandonment and denial issues with my mother and many more trials and tribulations that I can not even comprehend to this day, how in the world did I survive all of these. The only thing that held me together was the love of God, the faith that I’m not alone in darkness and know in my heart that these trials are not given in vain.

My first book about the darkness in my life was withheld from being publish as my family refused this and out of my respect to my father, I took it back from the publisher. I now see the bigger picture of what God had want me to do with all these dark nights. I knew somehow that this is meant to happen but out of other forces against my will it was not done and I believe everything is about timing. This book “Deepest, Darkest Secrets Wounds of my Soul” is totally different from my current state of mind now. I became free from this pain body and lives multi- dimensionally.

When I was writing that book I was a religious person and I became spiritual. I became an eternal student of spirituality and realized that religions are all good foundations of beliefs that had been passed through to us in our existence. They should not be the base of our soul. I believe there are many paths toward enlightenment but they all have a common goal to achieve Universal love and peace. When someone had finally let go of beliefs, ego, attachments, false self and become a free spirit with a pure heart and soul towards other sentient beings, then one can be totally free, and finds inner peace in his own self and spirit.

I was very intrigued by mysticism and studied Palm reading, Astrology, Numerology, Graphology and shared my gifts to my family and friends. I have paranormal events like having premonitions about accidents that are about to happen and waking up relaying it to my family and then watching it comes true. I always believe that there is a Higher Power and for some reason I know that I was tapping into this Source. I believe that everything happens for a reason and a that there is always a bigger purpose in this lifetime. The molestations that was imprinted in my young life between my father and I was a Sacred contract that we had fulfilled in this lifetime to help others who are suffering of sexual abuse.

That there is light in darkness and if I can do it, anyone can do it. It is this inner strength that kept me alive and move forward to this new life of healed memories and learn the lesson of unconditional love and forgiveness. Truly our blueprint is created in the Akashic Records to help us evolve and be align to our highest potential in this lifetime, we need to tap to our own Records to know our soul and become anchored to our physical existence. Without this knowledge and wisdom it will be difficult to remember our home. That’s why I heard the words ” you are returning to home” before I enter the studies of the Akashic Records because truly this is our home where our soul resides and all the cellular and DNA memories are stored and kept with highest and noblest teachings of the Ancient and all that is created within our human consciousness. We are a part of the cosmic, Universal and collective consciousness of human beings and all the beings that are here.

In sharing my life, with all my shadows, darkness, ups and downs, shame and guilt, fears and anything that is not of light that usually human beings tend to hide I openly and honestly share to all that needed to hear this voice of hope. I made videos of my personal dramas and turmoils in You Tube and name it Tezamysticangel on Oct 2008 after the suicidal death of my son Theo’s best friend. When I was in the funeral I felt the pain of a mother who just lost his son and in my heart I felt stubbed to death and decided to expose the darkness in my life to help others in their sufferings. I knew that my family didn’t agree with the expose but truly I’ve forgiven my father and see the bigger picture of our contracts. That I’m here to help others heal of their deepest wounds and shame.

The guilt that someone carries when she or he is victimized which is not right because we are not about sufferings, we are about love. This chosen path of being a wounded healer is not an easy job because it entails a great deal of honesty and humiliation. When you totally surrender your life as just is, a reflection of your heart and soul,  knowing that there is nothing to hide because in the end it’s all about the love that you have felt within your heart and life. The relationships that you built and cared for, the friends that were there in your darkest hours, the family that abandoned you but was able to ask for forgiveness and reconciled with all the mistakes that was done. The sharing, giving and receiving that you did with strangers and many souls that touched your life these are some of the meaningful memories that will play a big importance in your passing away. This will hold the transition more peaceful and open to the new dimension that you are going to traverse.

As a nurse and spent a lot of times with the dying, I feel the compassion of witnessing an event that no other family is present during this hour of transition. I hold the hands of the dying and whisper to their ears “don’t be afraid, your loved ones are waiting for you, you are loved!” with these words they slowly let go of this attachment to life and physical form. They smile and send me this angelic feeling of release and fills the room with an awesome knowing that our life is bigger than this physical life but our soul encompasses the Universal energy fields. Our soul that is embody in this form is finally free and feels loved after all the drama, we have return to our home.

There is only love and fear is an illusion of our ego but it is important part of the process to integrate and embrace our ego and spirit to be balance and create a space of harmonious living within our truth and existence. Without going deeply and having these dark nights of the soul we can not pass these lessons in life. We continually create a karmic bond within our Records of life. It is an ending cyclical process of bonding and attachments just like an addict who can not control his addictions. We need to face our fears, ego and realized that this is our mirror to guide us in our truth. What we face and put attention to it dissipates the darkness and becomes one with light. It is what it is, we are living in duality but as we evolve as souls knowing of our true home. We see the duality as oneness because without the other there is no wholesomeness. As I see the one who needs healing as the healer itself, I believe I’m just a space of unconditional love to connect to the Divine. Because the healing only takes place when a person acknowledges the inner strength and Higher Power that is giving the healing. The healer is within, no body can heal you but yourself you don’t need anyone to heal you.

In my experiences as a healer I see the pattern of dependency of clients to the healer. I believe in self empowerment and tapping into your own Source because we all have  this innate power to heal ourselves with the Divine intervention. Ask and it shall be given. Simple, yet we don’t tap into this power house of God and God within. This is our birth right from the Universe, tapping into our highest potential and creating manifestations that is for the good of all creations. We are but a part of this magnificent Source, let us not waste anymore time, live in the present moment self realizing that this is it, your future time is here created in this present moment of knowing that you are here to experience greatness, love, peace, joy, compassion for all sentient beings, nature, plants and animals. We are a part of all that is, let us wake up and create a beautiful new holistic perceptions of life. Evolved, enlightened and engaged conscious human being.

As an evolved soul and human being I’m now ready and willing to be a Wounded Healer and truly recognized that these wounds are not given for me to keep but to expose to others just like the wounds in our body, they need to be open and expose to air at times to heal. The deep healing of these wounds take time, layers of bruised and inflamed tissues of our cellular tissues and just like the wounds of my soul they needed this loving and time to heal to the core. Allowing and receiving this love from God and others help me know that these wounds are what makes me beautiful inside and out. The joy to be able to transcend pain and find treasures in the dark.

We are all in the same field of light and love, we can only know that truth when we have finally see our selves as one with this true light and love that is the same for everyone. As long as we hold to the pain, fear, judgement and separation, we will never see this light and love because of holding to our story of victim consciousness. When one is not  able to see that our enemies are our mirrors for our own healing and bigger purpose in life, we will continue the path of pain. When we surrender, allowing our truth to shine and only believing the power of light and love, we will come to know our truth and have inner peace. We are all mirrors of love if one sees the other with love and let go of fear and separation. We have the power to unite and be in this unified consciousness when we choose to do so. Use your freewill to choose the will of God, be CLEAR with your Consciousness, having the Energy of Love with your Awareness and Remembrance of your true spirit and soul.