What are the treasures hidden in the darkness? these are the sufferings, difficulties and trials that we go through in our lives. While we are going through the motions we don’t know that these will turn out to be gifts until God reveals to us the bigger purpose of these experiences. Things happen for a reason, and I believe God  is always there with us in the midst of our tribulations. When I had abortion surely God was with me weeping and sobbing in the deepest cries of my heart. He had heard my wailing and seen my broken heart. Through this pain I became very aware and compassionate about others pain. I can’t turn my back on someone who’s in pain and always be there to reach out to others. Can you imagine this world of darkness if someone can not see the light? Where would that person be? Will he take his own life out of desperation? Would he be wallowing in pity and self- torture? These questions are some things that a desperate person would be contemplating. I had lots of dark nights of my soul and was longing for God’s answers but didn’t feel His presence. He was too far to reach me and my soul is quenching in thirst for His love. “Where are you in the midst of this despair?” I ask God. You don’t hear God’s words and only when you surrender to Him then, I slowly hear Him again. The treasures are stored in the most precious gift of God inside my little heart. When I’m going through some darkness I just have to remind myself that treasures are hidden in the darkness.”And I will give you treasures hidden in the darkness-secret riches. I will do this so you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, the one who calls you by name. ” Isaiah 45:3

This letter was written on May 10, 2004 to my father for our healing and I also talked about this is in my You tube site which is under “Tezamysticangel” which has now attracted 81,400 viewers since I’ve opened it on 2008.

Happy 85′th birthday! I’m writing this letter because I want to put a closure to my healing wounds. In doing so I will be able to let go of all the feelings that I wasn’t able to tell you because of so many reasons. I will help the little girl in me to have a voice and finally be heard. To continue to grow in trust and safety in God’s hands.

Papa, I wanted you to know that I’ve forgiven you for all the things that you’ve done to me in the past. Bur deep inside of me there are so many unspoken pains and unhealed memories of the past that needed to be in the light. In order to dispel the power of darkness. What I mean to say is that I needed to tell you so that it will not come back to haunt me anymore. Like a ghost restless and haunting. I still remembered growing up, you used to call me in your room and seduced me with fruits to go inside and you would tell me that it’s our secret. Then, you would ask me to remove my uniform shirt because it was too hot and I would do that and ate my fruits and watched tv. I can vividly remember how you watched and lusted for me. I didn’t knkow better because you were my father. I thought love is seduction and lust. I would feel important, special and wanted because this is the way you shared love to me. Why did you do this? Are you sick?

For whatever reasons the damage was done and I was broken. I didn’t know that this is the way a father should treat his daughter. The most hurful part of this is when you sucked my breast after the abortion. Do you know how deep is the wound that you have stubbed me in my heart? It felt like a sword had cut right through my heart. I lost my true identiy as a woman. I don’t know how to trust, love and respect my body. I don’t know the concept of boundary because of your trespasses. I don’t know my self worth, it felt like a garbage dirty and not wanted. These are all the ugly feelings that resulted from what you had sowed in my little girl’s heart. I’m not going through counseling and it was revealed to me that I needed to write a letter to heal my deepest wounds.

Papa, I’ve truly forgiven you. This letter will surely hurt but the intention is to share with you my deepest sorrows, in order for me to heal completely. This is from the past and I know God wants me to bury this behind. Out of this experience I became closer to God, telling Him all my heartaches. I would like to end this with a prayer for both of us.

Dearest God,

We thank you for bringing us together in spirit, being able to voice out my feelings and opening my wounds to my father. To bring a closure to the past. We ask you for forgiveness, compassion and mercy. Thank you for renewing our minds, body and souls. Transform us into your image and use us as instruments of your healing power. That with our story we could touch other souls who are going through the same darkness. Thank you for bringing your light into our hearts. The light that heals and comforts our broken hearts. Thank you for being a Father to all of us, and I ask you to bless my father and fill his heart with complete joy, love and peace. We ask you this through Christ our Lord Amen.

Praying for healing and true forgiveness,
Teza

This letter was written when I was asked to write something for my aborted child in a book that was published for aborted babies in the Christian community. Out of the blue I got a letter from someone that they want a letter for my aborted baby and this transpired.

Thirty three yrs ago, I lost the chance of having you because of unfortunate choices that my family made in my young life of fifteen. Although, it wasn’t my choice to lose you, my body was the vehicle of your death and felt a great sense of grief, guilt and responsibility for this hideous murder. Looking back I really don’t know how I stayed sane through the course of my lifetime. As you know your brothers and sister had kept me going through all the years. They gave me the chance to be a good mother, which I never had with you. Losing you made me a better person and realized that I have the voice to reach out to those women who are experiencing the same agony. To give hope where there is doubt and to bring light where there is darkness. You taught me the greatest thing of all which is love.

I’ve been writing about us and never really thought of writing to you until this calling was made. This is the first time that I truly communicated with you. I don’t know how or what I’m going to tell you but I’m doing it anyway. You are my sweet angel and always watching over me and your siblings. In your world there is so much love that I can hardly wait to be there. All my life I wanted to be with you but I guess I still have some work to do here. I believe things happen for a reason and in God’s hands I surrender my life.

Jasmine, I’m truly sorry for not haviing you and for my family’s action of abortion. I can’t bring back the past and all I have now is the present moment. I want you to know that even though I lost you, that you are always in my heart and soul. Everytime I see and smell flowers I’m reminded of you and your beauty in my life. Can you imagine that out of a dreadful experience I will bear fruits of healing, love, hope, faith, joy, forgiveness, surrender, serenity and peace? These are the gifts that you brought into my heart and I thank you for forgiving and allowing me to be your mother in spirit.

Love is timeless and boundless. My love for you is as real as here and now. It leaps through space and time. It is eternal and bliss. Thank you for your presence and love that I feel in my heart. There is nothing in this world that would make my life completely perfect until that time when you take my hand and meet me there in the gateway of heaven.

I love you with my heart and soul.

Mommy Teza

Forgiveness is the foundation of healing, when we forgive we create a space of unconditional love and grace. The pathway to oneness is connected through this force, without this bridge we will not achieve inner peace and global peace. As we forgive others for what they did to us, we literrally transcend our vibrations and start to attract more unconditional love and blessings to our lives. The power of this action is beyond measure, there is a rippling effect that happens when we choose to do this. We magnify our existence and manifest lovely experiences in our lifetimes. We learn to let go of the past, pain and heal our cellular memories and consciousness.

The Universe will surely test and give us more situations that will trigger more unforgivenes, until we truly get the lesson behind this situation which is unconditional love. The hidden gem is all about our love for ourselves. If we truly love ourselves, we will not allow thoughts that will harm us in anyway. When we withold love, we create lower vibration that are emotions like guilt, anger, revenge, resentment, anxiety, within our consciousness and thus create stress in our health and being. We become hard on ourselves and we create an armor around our hearts. Our hearts become a perfect ground to breed unwanted feelings and negative emotions. These emotions ruts in our hearts and our souls are stuck in this darkness. We become victims of our own consciousness and when this happen we are separated from our Source. The Source is about love, unity and harmony. We are not here to experience pain and sufferings but to be in the space of love and grace.

We forget who we are, we are spiritual beings in our human suits, all of our dramas are our own creations because we attract who we are inside our hearts. When we see beyond our pain and see the bigger picture we will know that we are all in the same boat. That we experience all these situations in different forms, the question is do we ever get the lessons that we are trying to learn? We all have conscious choices to make in this lifetime, to live a happy life or to be stuck in this negative situation within ourselves and others. Let us wake up and take responsibility for the state of our consciousness.

Blaming others for our state of mind is not going to help us in the present moment. Like the bite of a snake, the bite is long gone but we still suffer the venom of the snake’s bite. We are caught in the poison of the snake, this is the venom of this unforgiveness path. We create more pain by holding this crooked path in our existence. The garden of our hearts is like a landscape, we need to weed out bad weeds like ill feelings and grudges in order to reap good fruits in our harvest. Forgiving the past is not easy but when we want to move forward, we choose to forgive then let go of the past. Focus on your chosen path and follow your heart. This is the return to home, your heart is where your home is.

This is our Sacred Contract, to be with this certain person to experience pain and forgiveness. In the bigger picture, without this situation we are not going to learn the lesson of forgiveness. When we start to see things as is and send blessings to the enemy so to speak, we find this inner peace deep within our hearts. We feel light and we are in the space of grace and Divine’s love. Only through these dark nights of our souls we can achieve true forgiveness and learn the lesson. If we keep denying our own pain and blaming others for how we feel, we will just go in a circle of drama and we keep attracting the same situation with different actors so to speak.

We transcend our pain by forgiving and letting go of this negative karma, we allow the space and power of healing our hearts. We become co creator of our lovely and happy experiences. We choose to empower ourselves and allow our selves to expand into this beautiful creation of God whatever God means for you. We learn to trust the flow of love into our experiences and we become happier in our existence when we connect to the Akashic Records of our souls. This is the secret path to tap into the Akashic Records. We can not touch this when we have unforgiveness in our existence because the heart of our human collective consciouseness is in the realm of our souls. We can only go through the high vibrations of our souls when we connect to the Source of our existence. Our souls vibrate in the frequency of love and light and we have to be align and congruent with our souls in order to have access to the Akashic Records. People are mistaken if they think that you have to be smart in order to access your Akashic Records, it’s actually the heart that needs to be pure to access this high frequency of vibration of love and light. God sees us beyond our mind’s perceptions, but within our heart’s lies the wisdom of our Source. This is the path of our return to home, where love is. There is no sense in holding pain, anger and resentment in our existence because we only give ourselves a more difficult path to thread to.

Let us forgive ourselves first in order to experience true forgiveness for others. We don’t need to be with them but to allow the space of grace and love within our being. It creates a new pattern of experiences and we become more align to manifest our dreams in this lifetime. Let us live in the present moment consciously choosing to forgive. ” I now declare to the Universe and Source that I’m forgiving others who consciously or unconsciously had hurt me in the past and I also ask others to forgive me for hurting them consciously or unconsciously through my thoughts, words and actions, let it be done. May the flow of grace and love be with me in this lifetime. Amen.”

Relationships with another person is a catalyst for knowing your truth, essence and spirit. When we are in a relationship, we bare our souls. We find things that the other person triggers in us, what is hidden within us that we are not aware of. When this happens we are tapping into our subconscious mind. We are about vibrations, waves of particles vibrating in a scale of low or high frequency magnetizing to us the same frequency that we are sending. When we talk about energy our partners in life have the same wavelength of what we are sending so to speak. Our inner filters attracts and create who and what we have in our physical reality. When other person is acting in a manner or situation that we deem negative. It is actually a sign for us to stop and reflect on what this person is bringing into our attention.

Relationships are Sacred Contracts and we are here to teach each others spiritual lessons. They came to us to find our truth and to wake us up from our deep sleep or from our unconscious state. When we look at relationships this way we learn to easily let go of blame and we can find a space of forgiveness. Pain dissipates as we learn to let go of our attachments and expectations to what did not happen or our attention shifts to the lessons that we learn for the better.

When one is still in the victim consciousness and would not change or move forward then the other party who is align to love becomes self empowered to move on and create a higher vibration of love and light. We need to know the dynamics of energy in relationships to become empower. The different roles or Archetypal energies that we play. Ask questions that will reveal to you where in your childhood this person reminds you of and what kind of feelings are evoke? Is there any emotional trauma that needs healing or to be reconcile with your own self? What are the current theme or patterns that are being created? Where there is ego there is shadow, hidden behind the conflict or chaos. Because love has no shadow but only speaks of the truth.

When we become self aware that the other person, may it  be a family member or lover is here to bring us closer to our truth and heal our wounds, we become enlightened. There is always a choice and the freedom of our spirit to chose which path we are going to take. As we heal, we remember that we are impermanent transient beings and uncertain of all relationships. We have to power to choose what we want to experience. Most of the time when we are in a relationship that is not healthy for us, we become blind or in denial and we don’t seem to know the answer how to get out of the painful situation. We need the support of others who are there for us and can see beyond the drama. Surrender to the situation and learn the lesson, let go of old ways of thinking and shift to a more graceful flow of experiences. Choose love and compassionate way to treat others just like yourself. The truth is that we are all suffering in the same way, we are in the collective consciousness of our present human conditioning. As we are shifting into this enlightened era of our evolution, we become lighter to our selves and others. We don’t create drama and we let go of who is right or wrong. We want to live to be happy and conscious human beings.

This is the gift to see in every relationships that we have, that we are here to experience love and not fear. When we are awake and aware of our essence, we start to notice that our relationships are more evolve full of love and happiness. We become more involve with their well being and not for what we can get from them. We empower others in their souls paths, serving and sharing what we receive from this abundance world. We are one in the grand scheme of things. We have to create an intention to live consciously and to shift our patterns of thinking. “I am conscious, loving, joyful, and peaceful being experiencing all that is good. I am one with the flow of the Universal mind, energetically aligned to my highest potential and recalibrating my DNA to my multi dimensional soul blueprint of my existence. Today I bring forth a new manifestation of my creative self. Opening my heart and reconnecting to the Source of love and light. Bringing healing in my consciousness and creating a loving present moment with passion, inspiration and self empowerment.

The healing of relationships take place in the blueprints of our souls as we evolve in this conscious world, we become a co creator of our Universal mind. Our collective consciousness becomes one in all and everything is one in the now. The movements of our planets, galaxies and multi universes inter relates within  our electromagnetic fields. We experience blissful soul journeys creating a peaceful world. Our fears dissipate and we begin to love unconditionally. Our history becomes imprinted in the Akashic fields and create a new path of healing for humanity. There is no other, we are one, one within and one with all that is. Our fractal selves become one living conscious Universal self. We are souls in many multi universes of these parallel lives that we live simultaneously evolving and transcending. There is no time and space in eternal time. We can travel, be there and be here at the same moment of time and space. This is the new perceptions of the conscious mind radiating light beyond shadows and penetrating all that is. The beauty of every passing moment is the knowing that all is one and knowing that we are here to experience this beauty of love.